


How Dark Dynasty Should Have Ended

by tikistitch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tikistitch/pseuds/tikistitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I rather despised the ending of SPN 10.21, Dark Dynasty.  So I wrote my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Dark Dynasty Should Have Ended

**Author's Note:**

> This AU takes place during 10.21, Dark Dynasty, following Castiel's phone call to Sam and Dean that Charlie has disappeared. Spoilers, obviously, up through that episode.

Castiel pressed his thumb to his phone screen to disconnect the call. 

He paused. He had a strange feeling about all of this that he couldn't shake off. 

Thunder echoed outside as the rain pounded on the concrete. Pocketing his cell phone, Cas strode into the locked room where he had just chained up the witch.

She glanced up when he entered, but then affected disdain, plying at her fingernails with an emery board, humming something. It sounded classical. “Oo, is it my wee distraction?” she asked, holding up one arm to gaze at the back of a small, pale, fine-skinned hand. “Come to hear my grocery list, are you? Snacks for the wicked witch.”

“How would you like to get those chains off?”

That got her attention. One perfectly plucked eyebrow arched up.

 

Charlie grasped the katana, because after all, she wasn't an idiot who goes running off without a weapon. She was doing multiplication tables in her head. She had not one but two of the creepy Styne family standing there. They had four hearts between them, though only three arms. But these guys were jacked up somehow, through witchcraft or curses or genetics or radioactive spider venom – she had no idea. And it was pretty clear, no matter what way you figured it, that her chances of survival were slim.

It was the final boss level, and she desperately needed a power up.

Stalling seemed like a good idea. “I don't have the Book. And I smashed my computer, so you can't have my notes.”

The guy who still had both arms smirked. “We don't leave witnesses,” he explained. He had that expression a cat gets when it's playing with a mouse. She really wanted to stab him in his smug face. 

“Seriously? Is that accent for real or what?”

“Of course that's our accent!” said One Arm.

“She's stalling,” his brother or cousin or clone or whatever told him.

But One Arm was adamant. Maybe the blood loss was making him more stubborn. “She just insulted us, Eli.”

“We're going to kill her, Eldon.”

Charlie tightened her grip on the sword. “Are you guys twins or something?” 

“We are _cousins_ ,” Eldon sniffed.

“Whoa. Cousins? You mean like Deliverance banjos and all?”

Eldon stomped his foot. “Eli! She just insulted us. You saw her!”

“We are going to kill her, Eldon. You give us two minutes, and she'll be dead.” He shook his head. “No wonder Daddy is fed up with you,” he whispered, but it was sort of sotto voce but sort of not, so his cousin could totally still hear.

“Don't you bring Daddy into this! You're always bringin' up Daddy.”

“Wait, hillbillies with daddy issues?” asked Charlie, her head tilting to the side. 

“We are not hillbillies!” sneered Eldon, waving his bleeding stump. “You take that back, young missy!”

“I'm a thirty-something woman, dude. 'Young missy' is a little sexist.”

Eli drew himself up, and raised his knife. “I've had enough outta you! You some kinda social just warrior?”

“Rowena!” came an unmistakable raspy voice. Cas and Rowena – who was still in manacles – were standing in back of the Styne mooks.

As the bickering cousins pivoted around, Rowena raised one bored hand. “Bippity boppity boo,” she sang.

Quite suddenly, the Stynes were there no more. 

“Wait, bippity-boppity-boo? So that's a real enchantment?” Charlie asked.

“It's not the words so much as the intent, wee one,” chuckled Rowena.

“Are these … guinea pigs?” asked Cas, who was crouching down to examine the furry creatures who up until a moment earlier had been murderous, shaky-accented thugs. 

“Well, he is easily distracted. For a celestial being,” said Rowena. She hopped up onto the counter and picked up Charlie's broken laptop, wrinkling her nose at it. “Oh, my dear, you broke your screen? Were you tryin' to secure your files, because that won't do at all.”

“Hey, I don't know!” Charlie protested. “Look, I'm supposed to be a female nerd, so everybody seems to think I can hack. I'm a violinist! I don't know a fucking thing about computers!”

“Well, that's all right, we can zip it right up, can't we?” Rowena tapped the monitor, and the computer magically put itself back together. “There you go!”

Charlie hesitantly took the laptop. “But, wait, you're being nice to me?”

“Well, why wouldn't I, my girl?”

“I dunno.” Charlie switched on the computer, and smiled when it sounded a happy tone. 

“Girls should help one another.”

“I guess so.” Charlie poked around in the virtual world. “It looks like all my files are here.”

“You figured out the codex, did you?”

Charlie nodded.

Rowena nearly purred in satisfaction. “Well. And now our distracting angel man has promised to take off my shackles. Hey!” she said, raising her voice. “Distracting angel man! Shackles!” She rattled her chains, but Cas appeared still quite intrigued by the fuzzy little guinea pigs.

“They had a troubled childhood,” Cas explained as he stood, holding his new friends cradled in his arms. One of them had a missing forepaw. It was probably Eldon. Cas touched a finger to its little forehead, and the guinea pig was magically healed by angel mojo. 

“Well, that's a good trick all right,” Rowena acknowledged. “Now we need angel magic on the manacles, hey?”

“Stop right there,” boomed Cas.

Sam and Dean appeared in the doorway, guns drawn. “Cas? What the hell is going on?” Dean demanded.

“Stop right there, Sam and Dean,” Cas ordered. He didn't look happy. Of course, Castiel generally didn't look happy, but right now, he looked especially unhappy. 

Cas turned to Rowena. “Hold my guinea pigs.”

“Cas, what's going on?” said Dean, more insistently this time.

“You came. As I thought you would. But a few minutes too late to save Charlie.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked, but Sam had begun to look like a rather guilty moose.

Charlie ceased poking at her laptop and looked up. “Wait, Cas. They weren't gonna save me?”

Cas didn't answer, but instead glared at the Winchesters.

“Cas, this is ridiculous,” said Dean. 

“No. After Kevin died, I did some digging into your past. I didn't want to believe. But, one by one, all of your allies and friends have been killed. Your father. Ash. Ellen and Jo Harvelle. Victor Henricksen. Pamela Barnes. Rufus Turner. Bobby Singer. Benny Lafitte. Kevin Tran. Even my brother, Gabriel.”

“Cas! You can't blame us for all those people.”

“And that doesn't count the people Sam killed with his penis,” Charlie put in. Sam glared at her.

Cas pointed an accusing finger. “Sam and Dean Winchester … are angst vampires!”

“Ooo, caught red-handed, you two,” giggled Rowena.

“Wait, what?” said Charlie. 

“They are an ancient, very rare form of monster. They fail to save their friends, and then feed off the guilt,” Cas explained.

“Wait, you mean like the Murder She Wrote lady was a serial murderer?”

“She catches on fast,” said Rowena.

Sam was holding up his hands. “Look, guys! We only take one of two a year.”

Dean rubbed his stomach. “Guy's gotta eat. And Charlie would've been a tasty meal.”

“Yeah, we would have had man pain for a year!” Sam agreed. 

“You were gonna let me die?” asked Charlie. “But- But I'm your friend! You said I'm like your sister!”

“It's true,” said Sam. “But you know, you also get on our nerves.”

Dean nodded his head. “Yeah. And I already got a younger sibling. And believe me, one is enough.”

“That's why we sent Adam to hell!”

“Yep.”

Charlie was shaking her head. “I don't believe this! That's- That's rotten!”

Cas's eyes narrowed. “The Winchesters were going to let you die, Charlie. And then Rowena.”

Rowena suddenly grew quite still. 

“What do you plan to do, Cas?” laughed Dean. “Smite us? I mean, I got the Mark, dude. That angel crap don't work.”

“No, but it appears that Charlie has deciphered the Book of the Damned. Isn't that correct, Charlie?”

Charlie tapped the keys on her laptop, just to make sure. “Yeah. It's all here.”

“And the greatest practitioner of magic on earth is here.”

“That would be me, boys!” said Rowena, giving a gay little wave, and a rather scary little smile.

“Cas, you wouldn't-”

Cas waved a finger, and suddenly, Rowena's shackles fell to the ground.

Sam and Dean exchanged a panicked glance. “Hey, can't we talk about this?”

“Charlie?” said Rowena.

“Yeah?”

Rowena rolled up her sleeves. “Spell me, bitch.”

 

_The very next season...._

 

Castiel sat on his recliner in the cosy living room, hunched over a remote control, and scowling at the television.

Two young women strolled into the living room, a blonde and a brunette. The blonde leaned over and gave Cas a kiss on the top of his head. “Hey, Dadstiel! We're off to sell our souls to Satan!”

“Mmm,” grumbled Cas.

“Seriously. Alex and me-”

_“Alex and I.”_

_“Alex and I_ are gonna clear out a vampire nest.”

Cas looked up at Claire and Alex. “Have you completed your homework assignments?”

“Yeah.”

“You know we're both honor roll,” said Alex with a shy grin. “But I wish you'd stop arguing with my Biblical Studies professor.”

“He's an idiot,” grumbled Cas, returning his attention to the television. “And remember to clean your knives afterwards.”

“We will!”

“See ya!” sang Claire.

“Be home before midnight!” Cas called after them, still squinting at the glowing screen. He sat there a moment, clicking through channels.

Two more women breezed into the living room, a redhead with a laptop, and a delicate-featured brunette. “Hey, Cas.”

“How are the ratings, Jody?” Cas inquired.

“Well, not great, to be honest. Charlie ran the numbers, and we're getting our asses kicked in the 18-45 demo.”

“But I also figured a way to hack into the Nielsen database and increase our viewership!” Charlie announced.

“Then the next generation of hunters is safe for another season?” asked Cas.

“Yeah. Real meta, huh?”

“We were gonna go catch the new Avengers movie with Donna,” said Jody. “Wanna come?”

“We're staying in,” said Cas.

“Thought so,” said Jody, exchanging a grin with Charlie. 

“The girls are out hunting by the way.”

“Did you tell them in by midnight?”

“I did.”

“Well, let's get to the picture show,” Jody told Charlie.

“Did you wanna see some GIFs?” asked Charlie, as the women walked for the door.

“I told you, girl, no spoilers!”

The door slammed, and then, after and exchange of greetings, opened and closed again, more softly. A tiny redheaded woman crept in, accompanied by two yowling cats: an enormous, long haired Norwegian forest cat and a scrappy tomcat. 

“Now, Dean, you need to stay away from the neighbor's Siamese,” Rowena scolded. “We might have to get you fixed!”

The tomcat yowled and scampered away, under a bed or a table. The large Norwegian leaned in for pets. “We'll get you some nice big sardines, Sammy,” Rowena promised.

Cas was on his feet. “I found it!” he announced as music swelled up from the TV.

“Are you askin' me, my wee distraction?” asked Rowena.

Cas bowed formally and extended a hand. Rowena swept into his arms, and as Tony Bennet's voice filled the living room, an angel and a wicked witch began to dance.

_Isn't it romantic_   
_Music in the night_   
_A dream that can be heard_

_Isn't it romantic_   
_Moving shadows write the oldest magic word....._


End file.
